It has been over a month since I last blogged. I was going through a lot in the last month. A lot of emotional and personal matters.
I felt that I had nothing to say.
I was living my life on autopilot.
It was until yesterday that I began to get myself off of autopilot. It was sunny outside and I decided to go outside for a walk. I hadn’t walked outside in months since I drove everywhere.
When I was walking, I noticed how big and green the trees were. I breathed in the fresh air. I completely ignored my phone.
While I was walking, thoughts began to popped up on my mind. I questioned where I was going with my life. I wondered when my dreams would happen (Dealing with doubts have been my greatest weakness because I worry a lot).
It wasn’t until I remembered that I should stop worrying. I won’t deny that being patient isn’t my greatest thing. But life has presented things in unusual ways. Those unusual ways make me more excited and happy for those moments.
Walking is my time to reflect and appreciate the good things in my life.
While listening to CollegeFashionista’s podcast (highly recommend it, even if you aren’t into fashion) and their first episode was with Joyce Chang, editor-in-chief of Self Magazine. Chang talked about meditating daily. And she made it clear that meditation helped her clear her mind.
Two weeks ago, I decided to start meditating to improve my mind. So, I decided to start off with 3 minutes. My first day was intense. Breathing heavily and kept thinking, “Where am I going with my life?’
At the end of the meditation, I felt that I failed. I felt that I was Julia Roberts Eat, Pray, Love when she couldn’t meditate well.
On the next day, I decided to try again. I meditated for 3 minutes again. Sky Ferreira’s “You Are Not the One” played on my mind. Blocking it was a challenge. It kept replaying. It wasn’t until the last minute that I was able to clear my mind.
On the third day, I sat down and meditated for 3 minutes. Surprisingly, no thoughts popped up. I just simply breathed.
Since meditating, I have been feeling more clear in my head. I still overthink, but my thoughts aren’t as strong as they used to be.
Whenever you feel stressed, find something to help you ease your mind. It doesn’t have to be meditation. You can go running outside to clear your head.
Taking care of your mental health is very crucial.
There is no guide on how to live or even plan life after college.
As much as we want to control things, life won’t work the way we want it to. It is a hard lesson to swallow. I for one have been struggling with it the most.
Not knowing is quite scary. Questions start popping on what will happen next. Most of the time, the answer won’t appear until it happens.
But, we should not stress out on not knowing. We should embrace the present. Whatever happens next, embrace it.
I would not call myself a morning person. I enjoy my bed deeply.
However, I’ve realized that getting up early helps me be productive.
Usually, I get my butt up before seven a.m. I first brush my teeth before making myself some breakfast. For breakfast, I usually cook ramen with egg or eat some yogurt.
While eating breakfast, I check my social media and emails.
Following breakfast, I read a few articles on NPR and fashion blogs (fashionista.com or Business of Fashion). My reading takes less than 20 mins.
Right after reading my articles, I start working on what I need to do for the day.
As you can see, my mornings are quite simple.
We all hope that major changes occur in our lives: job promotion, pay raise, new car, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Yet, life doesn’t give us what we want right away. While you wait for a huge change, appreciate the little things.
Today, I was tired from standing and found a bench.
I sat down and starred out in the far distance for a few minutes. For those few minutes, I was not thinking about what I needed to get done today. I wasn’t panicking if I was being productive. Instead, I just relaxed.
Even when you think nothing is happening in your life, remember to enjoy the small moments.
2015 was full of amazing moments, but I’m excited about 2016! This is the year for me to finally pursue my dreams! I have a feeling deep down that things will finally happen. Of course, I’m aware that things won’t happen over night. I am positive and eager for what to come.
Buddha teaches us that suffering comes from our desires. We want what we can’t have. Frustrations come in when we can’t have it. Yet, if we do get what we want, we can end up feeling empty. That leads us to the question: how do we become happy? The truth: we have to remember that we’ll be fine no matter what. As the new year is coming, be grateful for everything that happened this year, including the small victories.
Thanksgiving is coming up real fast.
Usually, you’re expected to blog about what you’re grateful for.
Well, I’m not because I’m grateful everyday. As much as life loves to test me, I’m happy due to many things: friends, family, health, and opportunities. I do experience some rough moments, but I remind myself to appreciate what I have.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Bills are piling up. Your parents keep telling you how to live your life. You are constantly feeling the need to be an adult.
People judge you for wanting to “chill.” I have felt the judgement from others. Lately, I question where my life is going. Fears creep in a bit.
However, yesterday, whiling waiting for a friend, I saw two little kids playing hide and seek with their mom. They were laughing and smiling. Seeing them like that reminded me that life is too short to stress over.
Whenever you are feeling down, just laugh a bit.
So many amazing moments have happened to me since May, such as seeing Washington D.C. for the first time. Along with the positive experiences, there have been low points too. With the low points, I have been forced to find my inner strength.
The task of finding a job has been a difficult one. I have applied for a lot of positions and maybe get a few interviews. With each interview, I go in there confidently, but I end up getting rejected.
Getting rejected is never fun. I question why I did not get the position. Taking the rejection is hard, but I can’t dwell on it.
By not getting a job, I worry that my life is not going anywhere. I panic about not advancing with my adulthood. Life has been a roller-coaster ride.
As much as I want to have a pity party, I can’t. I have realized that I have to find my inner strength in order to succeed. Finding it is a difficult task, but I must.
Everyday, I wake up with a positive attitude. I look forward to what will unfold for the day. Keeping my head up is hard, but I refuse to quit.
Recently, I have been fortunate to receive some freelance work. Getting these gigs has boosted my confidence back up. I am very happy right now.
In my process of finding my inner strength, I now understand that inner strength is not just about being strong; it is to guide you on how to find your light in the darkness. Inner strength is knowing that you will be fine no matter what.