This morning, I stayed in bed and wasted time on Facebook for an hour. Finally, I got up and saw how much clothes were in my laundry basket. I dragged my laundry basket to the washer.
Laundry is the most basic task to do, yet I feel so accomplished when I do it. A lot of people postpone doing laundry for weeks. This is out of plain laziness.
For the rest of today, I basically did nothing, except watched some Netflix.
There is no shame of having a lazy Sunday.
The one thing I miss about college is having my friends there. It was so easy to run into my pals on campus. We would make last minute plans to go out.
Now, my friends are no longer in one place. Most have moved to different places, especially to another country. Not only geographical differences, amount of free time varies with each person. A friend of mine now works long hours on Wall Street. Another friend is juggling grad school and work.
I am lucky that I can text my friends, but it doesn’t feel the same as physically hanging out with them. It is not uncommon for my friends to not respond since they are working. I completely understand their hectic schedules and don’t hold it against them.
Adjusting to the change of my social life has been a challenge. I have been forced to make new friends. As scary as that is, it’s a part of growing up. We have to learn to not be afraid to meet new people and letting them into our lives.
On a positive note, I’m grateful that my old friends and I still keep in touch. For my friends abroad, we still talk by WhatsApp. It’s important to try to stay connected with others.
So many amazing moments have happened to me since May, such as seeing Washington D.C. for the first time. Along with the positive experiences, there have been low points too. With the low points, I have been forced to find my inner strength.
The task of finding a job has been a difficult one. I have applied for a lot of positions and maybe get a few interviews. With each interview, I go in there confidently, but I end up getting rejected.
Getting rejected is never fun. I question why I did not get the position. Taking the rejection is hard, but I can’t dwell on it.
By not getting a job, I worry that my life is not going anywhere. I panic about not advancing with my adulthood. Life has been a roller-coaster ride.
As much as I want to have a pity party, I can’t. I have realized that I have to find my inner strength in order to succeed. Finding it is a difficult task, but I must.
Everyday, I wake up with a positive attitude. I look forward to what will unfold for the day. Keeping my head up is hard, but I refuse to quit.
Recently, I have been fortunate to receive some freelance work. Getting these gigs has boosted my confidence back up. I am very happy right now.
In my process of finding my inner strength, I now understand that inner strength is not just about being strong; it is to guide you on how to find your light in the darkness. Inner strength is knowing that you will be fine no matter what.
The structure of school is instilled in us from a young age: classes, essays, exams, and readings. Teachers expose us to different subjects, such as the founding of the United States. We are told of what we are supposed to do.
We no longer have the structure to lean on after college. There is no professor to tell you what you are supposed to learn. Cultivating your desire to learn becomes less important when life throws things at you like bills. You become focus on working, which then makes it hard for you to care about developing your mind.
I fell into this trap after graduation. I was so happy to not have to write pointless essays anymore. No more wasting my time researching things I did not care about. However, I started to feel bored and uninspired.
Part of me questioned what I was supposed to do with myself. I could not think of any task to do. Just laying in my bed, I just stared at the ceiling. I thought, “What am I supposed to do?”
Later in the summer, it dawn on me that I had not written for myself in a long time. I always wrote to please professors in college. It was time for me to write for fun again. However, I wanted to challenge myself again.
Getting on my laptop, I decided to google writing opportunities. Writing contests kept popping up. So, I clicked on those links and read about the contests. That moment made me decide to enter these contests.
I could not be anymore happier about my decision to compete in writing contests. It has made me use my mind again. I have been writing materials and getting my friends to review my work. So far, I feel so stimulated again.
The most important lesson I have learned: Your learning does not stop at the classroom. You have to find ways to challenge yourself. It is up to you to figure out how to stimulate your mind.
“Thank you for applying, but we feel that your skills do not meet our needs,” is never a fun line to read. So far, my job search has not been going so well (not trying to sound negative and please don’t pity). Part of me want to hide under my bed sheets and stuff my face with chocolate.
Rejection sucks, but that is part of life. It is a hard lesson to learn. I often question if my resume, cover letter, or personality is the reason why I not receiving any interviews or offers. Doubt starts sinking in.
My life feels stuck when there is no job offer. I wonder how I am going to financially support myself or chase my dreams. My “career” seems impossible to start.
As much as each rejection hurts, I have realized that it was not meant to be (cliche as that sounds), but it is true. Life is probably sending me a message to look at a different path to reach my goal or pursue something else. Adulthood is tough, but I have to keep on going.