Removing Toxic People From Your Life

The one huge lesson I’ve learned after college: you have to remove toxic people from your life.

You probably have friends, whom you thought you would be pals with forever, but they weigh you down. But you can’t cut them out since you’ve spent so much time with and shared secrets. You think about the good things they have done for you.

But deep down, you know they’re causing more harm to you.

This is a hard lesson to learn.

I have had to do this because I didn’t see the point of pretending to want to be friends. This was made clear when I looked through my contact list on my phone. I scrolled down and realized that I had not talked to these people in months.

So, I decided to delete those numbers off my phone. It felt relieving. Then, I removed those people off my social media too.

After doing that, I wondered why I did not do it sooner. But I knew that I was scared to let go. I felt so comfortable having friendships I developed at the beginning of college.

At the end of the day, some friendships aren’t meant to last forever. Some friendships can actually be toxic.

You have to be willing to end them.

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Getting Some Legit Mexican Food and Sweets!

Over the weekend, I was texting my friend that I was craving Mexican food. The legit kind.

She responded that she knew a few authentic Mexican places. We planned at that moment to get Mexican food for lunch.

Today, my friend took me to a restaurant called Real de Minas. Never heard of it before. But my friend ensured me that it was very good.

Walking in, the place gave a cozy feel by the Mexican decoration on the walls.

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When I was browsing the menu, my friend suggested for me to get the combo in order to try different dishes. She showed me food items I didn’t know about before.

She explained that tostada is basically like a taco, except it is served on a flat tortilla. Then, she talked about what a chile relleno was (seen it before on the Food Network). She advised me to get shredded beef as my meat.

I ended up ordering the tostada and chimichanga! Figured that I should try something new instead of getting the typical burrito or tacos.

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While we waited for the food, we were served with chips, salsa, and an avocado sauce. The avocado sauce was so refreshing. I spread the avocado sauce over my entree.

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My friend shared her chile relleno with me and it was so good! I wished I got it! Oh well.

The tostada was my favorite. It was easier to eat than a typical taco. Not messy at all.

Following our lunch, my friend mentioned a Mexican bakery she knew. She asked if I wanted and I just said yeah.

The bakery was so cute with Mexican fiesta decorations. Forgot to take pics.

The bakery reminded me of the bakeries in Beijing because of the trays and tongs. I loved going into the bakeries in Beijing because they were full of sweets and stuffed bread.

My friend quickly selected the sweet for me. She kept saying, “Oh, you have to try this. You have try this.” She kept on grabbing different sweets.

 

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I was surprised that the sweets were so cheap. Great deal!

Very grateful for taking me out for legit Mexican food and sweet today!

 

Don’t Settle On Love

Last night, I was treating myself to some chicken pad Thai with a friend from college. She and I were chatting about life. Regret was the common theme.

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Regret in the sense of settling instead of trying. We would rather fail than regret not doing something.

Not surprising, the idea of regret came out of our conversation on dating! In all seriousness, if you settle on a guy who treats you like trash, that’s your fault. Your fault on wasting your time.

My friend and I agreed that we would rather be alone than waste our time on somebody who is clearly wrong for us.

Love is a difficult thing to get. We have a desire to find the “one.” Sadly, it has proven to be a challenge.

The fear of being alone is strong. We are afraid that if we leave, that person would never come back to us.

However, you end up regretting not leaving if the relationship turns out to be miserable.

Don’t ever settle on love.

Naturally Drifting Apart

During my last year of college, I was having lunches and chatting with my friends. We laughed and panicked about what we were going to do after graduation. The fear of not knowing motivated us to hang out often before we went our separate way.

Months later, I have lost touched with a bunch of people. I barely have the desire to text them first. They did nothing wrong. We just drifted apart.

Since graduating, I have learned one life lesson: People aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. People come and go. The relationships you still have, treasure them deeply.

Lunch on Tennyson!

Confession: I have been anti-social lately. I have been a hermit at home. For New Year’s Eve, a friend was sweet enough to invite me out.

My effort in hanging out with people has been lacking.

However, I have been changing my social behavior slowly.

On Monday, my college pal Britt texted me late at night. We chatted for an hour. Then, she suggested that we get together for lunch!

We both agreed to have lunch at Parisi, best Italian restaurant in Denver! If you haven’t eaten there yet, go now!

When I was driving to Parisi, I exited the highway. Right as I exited, there was heavy construction on Lowell! I did not know why.

Traffic was not moving for a few minutes and I decided to find another way to Parisi.

Luckily, I arrived at Parisi 15 minutes early; I was paranoid about being late.

While waiting for Britt, I looked at the menu. Very indecisive on what to get, “Antipasta section? Nah to that. I want pasta since I’m at an Italian place!”

For a second, I put the menu down and Britt entered!

“Wearing the same outfit you wore in college.” I giggled. Britt was wearing an orange shirt, sweater, and sweats.

“Yeah.” Britt laughed. “The exact same outfit.”

She and I ordered. I decided to get the mushroom risotto! Been craving risotto for months.

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Originally, the worker instructed us to sit a certain booth. Britt and I walked to the booth, but two old men were occupying it.

We decided to sit at another booth. A waiter smiled and said, “Wise decision.”

After we sat down, the waiter was very sweet to get us water.

Britt and I began talking about what we had been doing since graduation. I revealed, “Britt, I am glad that I still talk with you. I barely talk to anyone from Regis.” Britt admitted that she felt the same.

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Then, I said, “I don’t care to go to our college reunion.”

“Wait?” Britt asked. “We have a college reunion. I thought that was only for high school?”

“Yeah,” I responded. “They do a reunion for college too. I don’t care to go to ours. I don’t want to deal with people coming up to me and talking to me. I don’t care to pretend.”

“Pretend to be fake,” Britt joked.

“I don’t care to pretend,” I explained. “I don’t want to deal with people asking me, ‘Are you married? Do you have kids?’ See, people have not asked for my number or bothered Facebooking me.”

Britt was laughing. She said, “Same!”

“If we actually ever go, I will stick with you!” I screamed.

“I would have you speaking for me, since we talk everyday,” Britt joked.

Our lunch was lovely! The risotto was creamy and fulling. Being healthy was the last thing on my mind at that moment.

After lunch, we walked around Tennyson. The Book Bar had a sick mural of Harry Potter with Cat in the Hat! My childhood in one image!

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We checked out the Book Bar for a bit and the children section was adorable.

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My afternoon with Britt was lovely and it reminded me to make time for friends. Being alone too much is not healthy for the soul.

 

Change of Social LIfe

The one thing I miss about college is having my friends there. It was so easy to run into my pals on campus. We would make last minute plans to go out.

Now, my friends are no longer in one place. Most have moved to different places, especially to another country. Not only geographical differences, amount of free time varies with each person. A friend of mine now works long hours on Wall Street. Another friend is juggling grad school and work.

I am lucky that I can text my friends, but it doesn’t feel the same as physically hanging out with them. It is not uncommon for my friends to not respond since they are working. I completely understand their hectic schedules and don’t hold it against them.

Adjusting to the change of my social life has been a challenge. I have been forced to make new friends. As scary as that is, it’s a part of growing up. We have to learn to not be afraid to meet new people and letting them into our lives.

On a positive note, I’m grateful that my old friends and I still keep in touch. For my friends abroad, we still talk by WhatsApp. It’s important to try to stay connected with others.

How to Make Your Life Better

People love to fuss that college will be the best years of your life. That makes you wonder if life after college sucks. Assuming life sucks after college will put you in a negative mindset.

I won’t deny that life after college has been rough, but I have been finding way to keep me moving.

Here are five things that I have been doing:

1. Eating better

I used to eat horribly growing up. For breakfast, I would eat ramen noodle with rice. It would fill me up, but I wasn’t being healthy.

Now, I make sure to have some protein like egg and other healthy options like fruit for breakfast. I have also cut back on sugar; I only drink soda once a week. Tea is my preferred drink now.

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2. Make new friends

I have been meeting new people randomly. This past summer, I worked at a summer conference, where I became pals with people who just recently graduated college like me too. Since then, we have stayed in touch.

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3. Exercise

Exercising is not my favorite activity, but it’s important. My health isn’t something to take for granted. Now, I jog in the morning.

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4. Pursue new activities

I have decided to enter into some writing competitions. Never done it before, but I figured why not. It’s time for me to try new things.

5. Meet up with old friends

Never forget your friends. It’s easy to get busy and not have time for others, but try. I have been scheduling times to meet up with old college friends at Starbucks to catch up.

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Jelly!

  
This morning, I woke up and was making some green tea. Just chilling. Out of nowhere, my pal called me if I was interested in getting breakfast with her. I whispered, “Yeah, let’s go.”

My friend drove us to a restaurant called Jelly near the University of Denver (DU). The bright orange wall caught my eyes when I entered Jelly. My eyes quickly noticed that there were classic cereal boxes on the wall, including a Star Trek one of Spock! Sadly, I could not get a good picture of that box from where I was sitting.

The first thing we received was our water. My friend was disappointed that it came in plastic cups because it is not usually how they serve it. However, when our waiter came, he notified us that they had brought out more of their special glass, which are mason jars! He then replaced our plastic cups with clear mason jars filled with refreshing water. It gave such a quaint feel as if we were in the country side instead of busy Denver.

  
When our waiter asked us what we wanted to drink, I asked him what was their specialty. He happily responded, “The latte is very good, especially with coconut and toffee nut!” I screamed, “I want that!”

There were so many delicious choices on the menu and I could not decide what to get. My friend advised me to get the haco chili Benedict, which had chorizo in it. I could not wait to get it!

While waiting for our food, my friend and I were talking about job searching situation. I expressed the amount of rejections I was receiving. She then talked about her own struggles too. I was relieved that I was not the only one figuring out a career move.

Our food arrived! The English muffins were covered with the haco chili! So beautiful! I immediately took a bite and was in heaven! The rustic potatoes were crunchy, but had a simple taste to them. 

  
Jelly was a great restaurant for brunch! The food was so fresh and light. I will for sure come back.

Not the Only One

This morning, my friend texted me that she was going to get all you can eat lunch special at a sushi restaurant. She asked if I wanted to join her. I responded with a yes.

My friend is a true foodie because she is not afraid to try anything and she loves to take pictures of her food. Eating with her is always fun. So strange that we have been friends since high school.

While eating, we discussed our struggles of forming a career plan. We both stated our desire to explore different opportunities, especially traveling. I spoke about wanting to live abroad again.

Having lunch with my pal made me realized that I am not the only one in figuring out life. Getting a job is crucial, but I want to experience life. I seek to create memories.