It has been over a month since I last blogged. I was going through a lot in the last month. A lot of emotional and personal matters.
I felt that I had nothing to say.
I was living my life on autopilot.
It was until yesterday that I began to get myself off of autopilot. It was sunny outside and I decided to go outside for a walk. I hadn’t walked outside in months since I drove everywhere.
When I was walking, I noticed how big and green the trees were. I breathed in the fresh air. I completely ignored my phone.
While I was walking, thoughts began to popped up on my mind. I questioned where I was going with my life. I wondered when my dreams would happen (Dealing with doubts have been my greatest weakness because I worry a lot).
It wasn’t until I remembered that I should stop worrying. I won’t deny that being patient isn’t my greatest thing. But life has presented things in unusual ways. Those unusual ways make me more excited and happy for those moments.
Walking is my time to reflect and appreciate the good things in my life.
The one huge lesson I’ve learned after college: you have to remove toxic people from your life.
You probably have friends, whom you thought you would be pals with forever, but they weigh you down. But you can’t cut them out since you’ve spent so much time with and shared secrets. You think about the good things they have done for you.
But deep down, you know they’re causing more harm to you.
This is a hard lesson to learn.
I have had to do this because I didn’t see the point of pretending to want to be friends. This was made clear when I looked through my contact list on my phone. I scrolled down and realized that I had not talked to these people in months.
So, I decided to delete those numbers off my phone. It felt relieving. Then, I removed those people off my social media too.
After doing that, I wondered why I did not do it sooner. But I knew that I was scared to let go. I felt so comfortable having friendships I developed at the beginning of college.
At the end of the day, some friendships aren’t meant to last forever. Some friendships can actually be toxic.
While listening to CollegeFashionista’s podcast (highly recommend it, even if you aren’t into fashion) and their first episode was with Joyce Chang, editor-in-chief of Self Magazine. Chang talked about meditating daily. And she made it clear that meditation helped her clear her mind.
Two weeks ago, I decided to start meditating to improve my mind. So, I decided to start off with 3 minutes. My first day was intense. Breathing heavily and kept thinking, “Where am I going with my life?’
At the end of the meditation, I felt that I failed. I felt that I was Julia Roberts Eat, Pray, Love when she couldn’t meditate well.
On the next day, I decided to try again. I meditated for 3 minutes again. Sky Ferreira’s “You Are Not the One” played on my mind. Blocking it was a challenge. It kept replaying. It wasn’t until the last minute that I was able to clear my mind.
On the third day, I sat down and meditated for 3 minutes. Surprisingly, no thoughts popped up. I just simply breathed.
Since meditating, I have been feeling more clear in my head. I still overthink, but my thoughts aren’t as strong as they used to be.
Whenever you feel stressed, find something to help you ease your mind. It doesn’t have to be meditation. You can go running outside to clear your head.
Taking care of your mental health is very crucial.
It has almost been a year since graduating college. The first year after college proved to be a huge adjustment. Becoming an adult has turned out to be rather overrated.
But I have learned some important lessons.
1. Exercise is a must
I’m very lazy when it comes to exercising. Getting my butt up is such a hassle. But I have realized that I have to move my body or else I will get fat.
To avoid sitting all day, I take a walk outside. This allows me to breathe in fresh air and appreciate Mother Nature.
2. Care about what you’re putting in your body
Eating junk food was my favorite activity growing up. In college, I stuffed my face due to the stress.
After graduating, I began to feel rather sleepy and sick when I ate too much greasy food. Now, I only eat fast food to twice a week. I drink tea daily too.
3. Make time for others
In school, people are right there to hang out. Once you hit the real world, you classmates are not physically there. They become busy with their own jobs and lives.
That is why you have to put in the effort to reconnect with others or else your friendships will slowly fall apart.
4. Keep learning
It’s easy to let your brain rot after college. That is why you have to keep your learning up. However, learning doesn’t have to be in a classroom. You can take online courses for free or take part in a community based class. Traveling is another great option too.
5. Focus on your goals
You’ll probably face plenty of rejection. I’ve received so many no or things didn’t work out. Yet, you can’t quit. People who succeed are the ones who keep going.
We all hope that major changes occur in our lives: job promotion, pay raise, new car, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Yet, life doesn’t give us what we want right away. While you wait for a huge change, appreciate the little things.
Today, I was tired from standing and found a bench.
I sat down and starred out in the far distance for a few minutes. For those few minutes, I was not thinking about what I needed to get done today. I wasn’t panicking if I was being productive. Instead, I just relaxed.
Even when you think nothing is happening in your life, remember to enjoy the small moments.
It’s seemed like everyone love to fuss about the importance of money and prestige. People fear that you’re crazy if you choose to pursue an unconventional path in life.
Back in college, fellow history and politics majors did not know how to mind their own business. They kept shoving law school down my throat. I straight up ignored them.
The most important life lesson college taught me: don’t give a fuck about money and prestige. Not all money is good money. If you focus on money solely, you might regret doing unethical behavior. As for prestige, it’s overrated because it doesn’t really bring happiness; it instead creates a superficial reason for people to admire you.
I have chosen to focus on goals that fit my personal mission of enriching myself with intellectual, personal, and creative experiences.
It has been over six months since I graduated college. I am slowly figuring out my life. I am glad that I went to college because I learned a lot from it.
Here are five things I learned in college:
Always be curious
People prefer to stick to one thing only. That causes them to not branch off. In life, you should always be striving to learn more. Never be afraid to learn a new skill or experience something different, such as traveling on your own for the first time.
Communication is important
If you have a problem with people, you have to tell them. Passive aggressive attitude will get you nowhere. When you tell people the issue, explain why it bothers you.
Life loves to throw things at us, but you have to stay organized. You have to know when work assignments are due. If you drop the ball, you will get in trouble.
Advocate for yourself
Before college, I was a mouse. When I got to college, I quickly realized that I had to speak up. If you don’t stand up for yourself, you will get disrespected.
Give people a chance
Socializing can be one of the scariest things possible, but you can’t be shy. People are not here to bite you. You can’t truly know people until you get to know them. Never be afraid to say hi first.